The two Koreas are mouthing off about each other again, so it must be a day ending in “y.”
As the South investigates the appearance of mysterious crashed drones on the border with the North, South Korean Defense Ministry spokesperson Kim Min-seok blasted the North’s Communist regime.
“”Can North Korea even be regarded as a country? Is [sic] there human rights? Is there freedom? It continues to make false claims that are historically retrograde. It’s a country that cannot exist and should disappear soon.”
In response to the “disappear soon” comment, the North released a statement promising “all-out” military strikes to “wipe out every last person” in the Southern government.
Also, according to the Korean Central News Agency of the DPRK:
“This is an unpardonable insult to the people of the DPRK who are leading a happy life under the benevolent socialist system and considering independence dearer than their life [sic] and their resentment at the US is running high.”
The ruling cabal of boy dictator Kim Jong-un continues to deny responsibility for the three crashed drones discovered in March and April of this year on South Korean soil, close to the border with the North. Northern state-run media described the drones as a “fiction” and a “charade for confrontation.” If the drones are North Korean, which seems certain, it is unclear how Kim’s regime acquired the hardware. Maybe the SkyMall catalog. Although there are, in fact, plenty of drones you can buy [slideshow] even if you’re not a supervillain. Of course, it‘s illegal to sell technology to the North Koreans. You can sell your soul to Kim Jong-un, but not an Xbox One.
The two governments agreed earlier this year to stop disparaging each other publicly; but the North never kept to that agreement, famously lobbing personal insults at South Korean president Park Geun-hye, calling her an “old prostitute,” and saying that US president Barack Obama was “a crossbreed with unclear blood.”
In other bits and pieces about North Korea this week:
- Time Magazine demonstrates how Kim Jong-un likes to have photos of himself taken surrounded by adoring young girls, and guess who else also liked to have photos of himself taken surrounded by adoring young girls?
- Socialist Comrade and Friend of the Proletariat Kim Jong-un has a new private jet (I know you’re shocked — SHOCKED) and often insists on “steering” the plane, despite having no training as a pilot. His father, Kim Jong-il, had a pathological fear of flying, so Little Fatty is the first North Korean leader in a while to have his own copycat Air Force One. Maybe if he’s good and sits quietly, the pilots will give him his own “junior pilot” wings.
- South Korean media are claiming that Kim has gained as much as 45 pounds in the last few months, earning that Chinese nickname “Fatty the Third.” Now we know where are that food the North Korean people aren’t getting is going; although pundits in the South think it may be alcohol-related weight. Maybe it’s the cheese.
- The world’s first professional Kim Jong-un impersonator is getting a lot of business in Hong Kong. “Howard,” who speaks perfect English with a British accent, tells us the secret is to “always look unhappy and dissatisfied. It is his trademark look.” Howard should get together with the Chinese food vendor who exploits his resemblance to Kim to improve business; maybe they can start a detective agency together or something.
- North Korea, which claims to be able to build nukes and lunar landers, can’t build its own ski lifts. The prison state offered a Swiss firm over $7 million for some ski lifts, but the company refused. In response, the North called the snub “a serious human rights abuse.” Because while the North starves and murders its citizens, it’s totally Switzerland’s fault they can’t go skiing.