“I admit I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives 40 miles away” – Phyllis Diller
He wanted to. She wanted to. They both agreed it would be great. Dinner, a movie, a romantic walk in the night air. And then…? It all fell apart.
Married or single, it doesn’t matter. Once men and women hit the big 50, sex ain’t what it used to be. The good news is that sex can be even better than it used to be — for either gender. But you’re going to have to make a few adjustments. Here are six things to keep in mind if you want to keep the spark alive and have the best sex you’ve ever had.
Deal With Physical Changes Head-on: Todd Nippoldt, a Mayo Clinic endocrinologist, assures us that it’s natural for a man’s libido to decline with age. A man can deal with this leveling-off once he understands that testosterone replacement, or other treatment through medication, can enhance his sexual performance. Mary Gallenberg, MD, also of the Mayo Clinic, suggests that in certain women, testosterone therapy can help boost libido.
Men must to be frank with their doctors and talk about erectile dysfunction. There have been a host of medications on the market since the 1990s that work wonders for ED. Women too should feel free to deal with lubricants, to deal with the vaginal drying frequently associated with aging.
Get In Touch With Your Erotic Self: Candid and intimate talk between spouses or significant others is a marvelous way to set the stage for great sex. What’s worked in the corporation, and for achieving the “American Dream” — efficiency, hard work and drive — can be a turnoff for your sex life. Esther Perel, noted relationship and sex therapist, observes that “Americans don’t flirt; they score.”
Now that the kids are grown up and out of the house, you and your significant other or spouse can do anything you please and indulge any fantasy you choose. Give yourselves permission to be playful.
Throw The Television Down The Stairs: C’mon! You know darn well it doesn’t belong in your bedroom. Who deserves more of your attention — your spouse or lover, or David Letterman?
Tell Your Partner What You Need: You’re past 50, right? That magical sex act isn’t just going to happen. No need to act like coy Junior High School kids. At this age, you know better.
Let Go of Ridiculous Hollywood Standards For Measuring Your Sex Life: It’s not the size of the ship; it’s the motion of the ocean. And remember — the people you adore onscreen all have makeup artists, cinematographers, and costume consultants milling about them. You just might be disappointed if you catch your favorite star in-person during a bad day.
And, finally…
The Golden Rule Also Holds True for Sex: Give first. Don’t worry about getting. Take the risk that your love (or lovemaking) may not at first be returned. You just may be surprised.
