We previously reported about how angry North Korean boy dictator Kim Jon-un is over Seth Rogen & James Franco's upcoming comedy film The Interview, in which the stoner pals are tasked with killing Kim by the US government. Movies have made fun of North Korea and it's leaders before, but Fatty the Third really has his knickers in a twist over this particular movie.
Now the Kim regime has taken a bold step to prevent the Columbia Pictures film from ever seeing the light of day. Can you guess what North Korea has done today?
a.) Sued Columbia Pictures at the International Court of Justice at the Hague
b.) Kidnapped Seth Rogen and forced him to direct a bad North Korean daikaiju movie
c.) Fired missiles towards Hollywood, California — they only fell 5,400 miles short
d.) Sent a sternly-worded letter to the United Nations
If you guessed (d.), you're correct, and you win a one-pint jar of bland, tasteless North Korean kimchee that is only 40% cabbage, because in North Korea even cabbage is a luxury.
The letter, addressed to noted film critic Ban Ki-moon and published in full on Boing Boing, states that the "bright and rosy future of DPRK under the leadership of the peerless great man [Kim]" is in danger due to the "terrorism" of the United States, the "kingpin of international terrorism and its cesspool," that had the audacity to "bribe a rogue film-maker into daring to hurt the dignity of the supreme leadership of DPRK."
"Those who defamed our supreme leadership and committed hostile acts against DPRK can never escape the stern punishment to be meted out according to law, wherever they might be in the world. If the U.S. administration connives at and patronizes the screening of the film, it will invite a strong and merciless countermeasure."
Thus proving that the North Korean regime really knows how to put things in their proper perspective; also that they don't know the meanings of the words "rosy" and "peerless."
We could assume that Li'l Kim is acting out of ignorance; that, as the hyper-privileged son of an autocratic dictator, he thinks he has the right somehow to dictate to those who don't live in his semi-peninsular prison state what movies they can make or watch. But remember Kim Jong-un was educated in Switzerland. He understands how democracy works and how the West operates. He surrounds himself with Western luxury goods, spending hundreds of millions of dollars a year on himself. Kim Jong-un does not believe his own rhetoric. So why the ridiculous pronouncements?
Because they work on North Koreans, apparently. Kim's own citizens are the only people on Earth who can ever effectively oppose and replace his government. So he distracts them, with foreign trivia he can spin as an affront to Korea's dignity.
Meanwhile, maybe the US government can bribe Rogen into making a Superbad sequel.